An early Christmas present in India

Altitude: 38000. Time to destination: 3:30. This is my time to review and consider the days we spent with our loved ones in Pune, India. When I return home all thoughts will be Christmas, children, and local loved ones; those over whom I cried to leave six days ago.

Traveling to India was uneventful for us. We did have to hustle to catch our flight in Atlanta after being delayed from Denver, but we made it. A terrible ice storm covered many of the States and one in five planes was grounded. Had we flown the itinerary I had been scouting, we could likely have been sitting with hundreds of other travelers waiting in airports. Since we (I) had planned such a short trip, a delay would have cost us precious time. I see God’s hand in this circumstance.

I still marvel at the development of the relationship that takes us to a collective family half way around the world. But the ties are sincere, the bonds fast. Since we were to be there such a short time, we requested to do no sight-seeing, but just to visit. We got together for parties and functions and enjoyed them in a way that makes my heart ache to be removed again.

Wednesday. Ahloo paratha. I had asked that I be allowed to try things in the kitchen to learn what I was missing. Manisha cooked something I have repeatedly asked about. I don’t know that I can mimic it yet, but I know more of the process. And I felt her love as she taught me things throughout the trip.

We met in the middle of the day at Mokashi’s for a wedding ceremony. I was interested as they sat in the living room with chip fires burning performing a ritual of washing and anointing. There was a round of gift-giving to the bride’s family of clothes. Since we had brought a BYU t-shirt for Mokashi, he accepted it there and wore his first t-shirt ever. I was quite tired at the lunch, nearly too much to eat. (Of course we were up most of the night before the departure packing and the flight over offered little sleep as there was a toddler crying most of the flight. We got in late and I woke early, anxious to chat with the kids back home.) Yet in my tired state, the beautiful and delicious presentation was not lost on me. After lunch I was able to get mendhi on my hands for the wedding. (It was so nicely done that I have had Indian and American women stop me all the way home to tell me how well they like it.)
We took a welcome rest after the lunch and were nicely refreshed. I went back to the Mokashi’s to have a final fitting of the tunic for the saree and then we went to Shama’s dosa party that evening. I got to cook a few of the dosas, a thin pancake made of soaked rice and urad daal processed into a batter. Shama makes a mean sambar and chutney to accompany.

Sameer showed me a yoga pose to help fibromyalgia. Sameer is an expert yoga instructor and is going to help me develop the art long distance which I appreciate. I loved sitting around and visiting after dinner and singing “itsty-bitsy spider” with Snehal’s little girl Irawadi. I think I do not take enough time for similar gatherings in my life and it was good to enjoy the evening this way.

Thursday. Dave accompanied Milind and Mokashi to Mass Dye.

I stayed home with Manisha who has worked and made significant progress on her English. I already loved her heart from the last trip, but it was nice to be able to visit with her more this time. She and Snehal took me shopping that afternoon. We picked up some beautiful items to bring home and share with the kids.

That evening we congregated at Ashwini and Sameer’s.

We had a nice dinner, met Sameer’s parents who live with them, and practiced more yoga. I have much to learn. They gave me a nice yoga journal and a book written by Sameer’s guruji to give me a great foundation. Once again, sitting around visiting and joking after dinner was just wonderful.

Friday started entertainingly. Manisha’s alarm had not gone off and everything was helter getting Preeti off to school. The houses are open most of the time and so people will call for each other from outside. Preeti was being called from the autorickshaw “bus driver” who takes her load of kids to school. (That reminds me that one of the days I walked out with Manisha and Chaitra for her rickshaw trip to school and as they pulled away, the kids giggled at the sight of me.) After chatting with our kids at Shama’s (Milind’s internet was down) Mokahsi picked me up for an appointment with Nana, the aryuvedic doctor who has been helping me over the years. He was pleased to see me much improved. We stopped by Radika’s place (it was her wedding we attended in April) and I am pleased to have her placed in my mind.

Friday afternoon we went to a family-owned sweets shop. We got to see them creating confections in an apartment they’d converted into a factory. I tasted a fruit I’ve never had before, a pretty purple jamun which seemed to combine the flavor of cherries, plums, and cucumbers, which they turn into a barfee.

Friday afternoon I met Manisha’s best friend, Kateka (pretty sure that's not spelled correctly). She had spent ten years in the States and was curious for all that she had heard of us, why we were so different. She was adorable and it was nice to be loved automatically – again!

Friday evening we donned our sarees and went to the wedding.

It was a nice event, yet I started feeling melancholy. I really do feel at home there among our friends. That comfort leads me to feel I am straddling a huge gulf: an ocean and some continents. My heart is at home two places but the more it roots in India, the less whole it feels any one place. I felt a fracture that I could not bind. We were already eyeing our departure and I sensed the pain of separation from loved ones coming. A few tears slipped out that night as we sat down to hot chocolate with Milind and Manisha. As we talked that evening, I began to feel something different, a sense that eased my ache.

We stayed up late talking into the early morning and we can see how very similarly we view things. I have been feeling for some time that we have been prepared for these relationships and I think our faith has done much of the cultivating. But we are able to enrich and improve each other. I appreciate the expansion.

Saturday morning was the final wedding ceremony. I wore the beautiful saree Mokashi’s wife Smita had had made for me and I felt beautiful and elegant.

I enjoyed the ceremony and the event, though I felt a little bad that our departure pulled people away from the event we had come to attend. After another good meal, we headed back to Milind’s to load our bags and get on our way. They came together to send us off again, which ritual I love. I was sad to leave again, but this sense that began the evening before overrode my sorrow: I feel that the breech will be bridged: somehow at sometime, we will all be whole and together. I won’t have to choose one world or the other; they will both be my world.

And that sense is a good early Christmas present!