Careful and Troubled

While we were in India we had a conversation that I have been pondering. Mokashi told me that my health troubles start in my head because I feel so burdened by things. I related the bible story of Mary and Martha. I know that I am "cumbered about" often and "careful and troubled" about a great many things. I don't know why.

As I have pondered on this, I went back to the scripture. Below I have pasted the story from Luke 10.
38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.
40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

I reviewed the scripture and it was recorded earlier in Luke that Jesus had fed the multitude with a few fishes and a loaf of bread. Martha surely knew of this miracle. She may even have eaten the heavenly meal, yet on this day she felt responsible and burdened to meet a multitude of needs. Then I thought about a pivital time in my life when I was not feeling very fulfilled as a woman with three small children.

At that time, I made a conscious decision to change my objectives each day. I put loving and enjoying my kids on my list of things to do rather than the cleaning and the shopping. And it worked. I began to enjoy what I was doing more and we didn't starve, we didn't live in filth, none of my worst fears were realized.

I think I need to be more submissive to God and His will, even than I have learned to be. I feel that we will not starve or live in filth, but God will provide the loaves and the fishes if we put the one needful thing first.

So I have felt more calm about things. Today something happened that would usually give me a stir: I got a terrible flat tire on the way to church. I thought the car was acting weird because the snow on the road was melting through in places. But once I got on the dry, busy Center Street, I realized something was wrong. I pulled over as far as the snowpack allowed and got out to inspect the damage. The kids walked the rest of the way to the church to alert Dave and I was thinking, quite calmly, about what to do. Some neighbors who were not on their way to church (many who were had passed me by already) but whom Dave and my big kids had spent a few hours helping yesterday offered to help, without knowing my connection. By the time Dave arrived, the spare tire was almost in place.

I felt honestly like God had placed fishes and loaves before I had recognized that I was weak with hunger. One thing only is needful and I want to choose that better part that will not be taken from me.

Merry Christmas!

The Saturday before Dave and I left for India was very hectic. I was racing to finish the last of the errands and trying to enjoy the warm chaos that being the mother of five children brings. We had seen Santa the night before at the ward party, something I thought would accomplish the all-important "request moment" for the kids. But Santa completely forgot himself and didn't even ASK the kids what they wanted. I was seriously considering a trip to the mall to secure the kids that their wishes were known, but how to fit one more thing in? Then as I began unloading the groceries, who should pull into our drive but Santa himself! He came in, took a photo with us, asked each child what they wanted and generally was in no hurry to leave. I count this as one of the blessings we acquired for obeying the Spirit. Visit with Santa: check!

We got home four days before Christmas. The night we arrived a HUGE snow storm hit! We must have gotten more than a foot of snow. The kids went out and created a gigantic snowman, taller than 6'. I intended to take a shot of it, but trust me, it was impressive. Our little engineers built a ramp to load the heavy middle and large head ontop of the bottom. It was hard to imagine that the day before I was warm and cozy...

Parker gave us a couple intense days leading up to Christmas. It all came to a head Christmas Eve when he was demanding to know if Santa was real. I felt led in our conversation as to how I should respond. I challenged him with questions: what are you really worried about? Are you worried that he isn't real or that you are not going to have Christmas? Do you have to see and understand something for it to be true? Finally, I asked him to play "what if" with me. What if Santa is real? Then he always was real and things will continue on pretty much as they always have. What if Santa is not real? Then he never was real and things will continue on pretty much as they always have. The impact to Parker is null. Would you know, that little bit of logic spoke to him and we actually had a little bit of peace where there had been very little.

Christmas eve was spent with the Bramwells up in Layton. Mom, who is still recovering from her knee surgeries, had been hustling around the day before doing too much and fell... hence she required a little more R&R than she had anticipated for the event. But we had a very nice, simple dinner of soup, salad, and rolls. I brought up the confections from India and everyone really enjoyed tasting the selections. The kids put together and presented the nativity ON THEIR OWN with Ben reading the narrative from Luke. Then we all sat around and sang Christmas carols. We are starting to sound full and good as the kids grow up, we even had harmony. I enjoyed the evening so much that I forgot to snap any pictures until the end when all the kids had gone in to convalesce with Mom.

Aleah was the first one up Christmas morning. I remember trying to pull myself out of sleep to understand that she was ready to go down and open her present. She was concerned a little that she had two and maybe that was too many. She was patient, though, and waited a bit for everyone else to reach consciousness.

Discovering what Santa brought is always fun.

While we were in India, Katie and Johnny helped the kids draw names to give to, and took them out shopping for their gifts. THANKS GUYS! I thought it was particularly sweet that each of them opened the present from their sibling first. They are getting a taste for the joy of giving. Incidentally these are not necessarily the presents they got for each other, just shots of each child I liked best.

Wes and Anna brought our presents down and we had a nice visit and listened to a disk they gave us. After they left we finished our food assignments, Dave went to sip a hot chocolate with a lady in a care center, and then we headed down to Christmas dinner with them. It was only us there!!! We got off synch the Dave's siblings at Thanksgiving and so we had a quiet time with the Parishes. The food, of course was great. They had given us Apples to Apples and we had a good time playing that together. We watched the Sissel Christmas DVD, the Gordon B. Hinckley documentary, and finally a Christmas Carol.

It's hard for me to believe, with all the events of this week, that we have been home just a week. I cooked Indian tonight and had Wes and Anna over on the spur. They enjoyed the evening and looked at our pictures and let us share our trip. I love this break in the year when everything slows down and we are able to connect with our family at heart. And we have one more week of it!!! Merry Christmas everyone! My heart is full of love for you all.

An early Christmas present in India

Altitude: 38000. Time to destination: 3:30. This is my time to review and consider the days we spent with our loved ones in Pune, India. When I return home all thoughts will be Christmas, children, and local loved ones; those over whom I cried to leave six days ago.

Traveling to India was uneventful for us. We did have to hustle to catch our flight in Atlanta after being delayed from Denver, but we made it. A terrible ice storm covered many of the States and one in five planes was grounded. Had we flown the itinerary I had been scouting, we could likely have been sitting with hundreds of other travelers waiting in airports. Since we (I) had planned such a short trip, a delay would have cost us precious time. I see God’s hand in this circumstance.

I still marvel at the development of the relationship that takes us to a collective family half way around the world. But the ties are sincere, the bonds fast. Since we were to be there such a short time, we requested to do no sight-seeing, but just to visit. We got together for parties and functions and enjoyed them in a way that makes my heart ache to be removed again.

Wednesday. Ahloo paratha. I had asked that I be allowed to try things in the kitchen to learn what I was missing. Manisha cooked something I have repeatedly asked about. I don’t know that I can mimic it yet, but I know more of the process. And I felt her love as she taught me things throughout the trip.

We met in the middle of the day at Mokashi’s for a wedding ceremony. I was interested as they sat in the living room with chip fires burning performing a ritual of washing and anointing. There was a round of gift-giving to the bride’s family of clothes. Since we had brought a BYU t-shirt for Mokashi, he accepted it there and wore his first t-shirt ever. I was quite tired at the lunch, nearly too much to eat. (Of course we were up most of the night before the departure packing and the flight over offered little sleep as there was a toddler crying most of the flight. We got in late and I woke early, anxious to chat with the kids back home.) Yet in my tired state, the beautiful and delicious presentation was not lost on me. After lunch I was able to get mendhi on my hands for the wedding. (It was so nicely done that I have had Indian and American women stop me all the way home to tell me how well they like it.)
We took a welcome rest after the lunch and were nicely refreshed. I went back to the Mokashi’s to have a final fitting of the tunic for the saree and then we went to Shama’s dosa party that evening. I got to cook a few of the dosas, a thin pancake made of soaked rice and urad daal processed into a batter. Shama makes a mean sambar and chutney to accompany.

Sameer showed me a yoga pose to help fibromyalgia. Sameer is an expert yoga instructor and is going to help me develop the art long distance which I appreciate. I loved sitting around and visiting after dinner and singing “itsty-bitsy spider” with Snehal’s little girl Irawadi. I think I do not take enough time for similar gatherings in my life and it was good to enjoy the evening this way.

Thursday. Dave accompanied Milind and Mokashi to Mass Dye.

I stayed home with Manisha who has worked and made significant progress on her English. I already loved her heart from the last trip, but it was nice to be able to visit with her more this time. She and Snehal took me shopping that afternoon. We picked up some beautiful items to bring home and share with the kids.

That evening we congregated at Ashwini and Sameer’s.

We had a nice dinner, met Sameer’s parents who live with them, and practiced more yoga. I have much to learn. They gave me a nice yoga journal and a book written by Sameer’s guruji to give me a great foundation. Once again, sitting around visiting and joking after dinner was just wonderful.

Friday started entertainingly. Manisha’s alarm had not gone off and everything was helter getting Preeti off to school. The houses are open most of the time and so people will call for each other from outside. Preeti was being called from the autorickshaw “bus driver” who takes her load of kids to school. (That reminds me that one of the days I walked out with Manisha and Chaitra for her rickshaw trip to school and as they pulled away, the kids giggled at the sight of me.) After chatting with our kids at Shama’s (Milind’s internet was down) Mokahsi picked me up for an appointment with Nana, the aryuvedic doctor who has been helping me over the years. He was pleased to see me much improved. We stopped by Radika’s place (it was her wedding we attended in April) and I am pleased to have her placed in my mind.

Friday afternoon we went to a family-owned sweets shop. We got to see them creating confections in an apartment they’d converted into a factory. I tasted a fruit I’ve never had before, a pretty purple jamun which seemed to combine the flavor of cherries, plums, and cucumbers, which they turn into a barfee.

Friday afternoon I met Manisha’s best friend, Kateka (pretty sure that's not spelled correctly). She had spent ten years in the States and was curious for all that she had heard of us, why we were so different. She was adorable and it was nice to be loved automatically – again!

Friday evening we donned our sarees and went to the wedding.

It was a nice event, yet I started feeling melancholy. I really do feel at home there among our friends. That comfort leads me to feel I am straddling a huge gulf: an ocean and some continents. My heart is at home two places but the more it roots in India, the less whole it feels any one place. I felt a fracture that I could not bind. We were already eyeing our departure and I sensed the pain of separation from loved ones coming. A few tears slipped out that night as we sat down to hot chocolate with Milind and Manisha. As we talked that evening, I began to feel something different, a sense that eased my ache.

We stayed up late talking into the early morning and we can see how very similarly we view things. I have been feeling for some time that we have been prepared for these relationships and I think our faith has done much of the cultivating. But we are able to enrich and improve each other. I appreciate the expansion.

Saturday morning was the final wedding ceremony. I wore the beautiful saree Mokashi’s wife Smita had had made for me and I felt beautiful and elegant.

I enjoyed the ceremony and the event, though I felt a little bad that our departure pulled people away from the event we had come to attend. After another good meal, we headed back to Milind’s to load our bags and get on our way. They came together to send us off again, which ritual I love. I was sad to leave again, but this sense that began the evening before overrode my sorrow: I feel that the breech will be bridged: somehow at sometime, we will all be whole and together. I won’t have to choose one world or the other; they will both be my world.

And that sense is a good early Christmas present!

Falling behind... and loving it

There has been too much and I won't be able to capture it all. But I want to jot a word or two before everything that drives me so fast is over and I forget how much fun it was to fall behind.

We are heading back to India! I rather planted my feet and said I couldn't go. I wasn't going to make this wedding and miss Christmas glory. Then one day as I was going along on my way, the Holy Ghost said, "You know you didn't even ask, you just decided." I hadn't asked because I really didn't see that it could work. But I repented and asked, and the answer was that I am supposed to go. The tickets are bought, Katie VOLUNTEERED to take care of my kids (mwa, mwa!), and we will be going in two weeks. That's part of why I'm falling behind.

Something else developed a few weeks ago. We had some unanticipated and absolutely necessary, significant expenses a few weeks back. I was worried about making the family finances work. I said an effectual prayer while we prayed as a couple a few weeks ago. The next day I went to Savers for dollar Monday. I had been trying to buy Dave shoes without luck. That morning, though I went later than usual, and there were plenty of folks out shopping in the section I was in, I picked up three great pair of shoes. I called Dave and asked him to come try them on. They fit beautifully and they were Kenneth Cole and two pair of Dr. Martins in excellent condition. The sum total for all three was $20.00. Then I looked for slacks for Dave. I picked up a brand new pair of Savanes with the original tags, Eddie Bauer cords, Docker slacks, Banana Republic slacks, and a pair of Old Navy jeans, hardly used. Then I found two stacks of our corelle dishes. Moving on, I decided to check for dress shirts for Dave. As I was loading my sixth NICE shirt, a Pierre Cardin, I marveled. I never find that much great stuff on dollar day, mostly for a dollar. The spirit then revealed to me that it was a direct answer to my prayer. I stopped and wept in the isle of Savers. The grand total for the trip was $66. Sometimes manna falls from heaven and sometimes the cruze of oil wasteth not. I saw God's hand dramatically that day.

My Grandma and Grandpa Bramwell came to visit and take pictures for the Bramwells. Grandpa made frames for our family pictures and then took a new round to update us. It was so wonderful to visit with them. I really would love to have them live close. It's hard to see them because they live far enough away that I can't do it in one day, but close enough that I wish I could. They have planted a marvelous crop of family and I would love to see them sit in the midst of the harvest and reap in abundance.

Thanksgiving was a great break for us. We were able to visit with my entire family. I love Thanksgiving because it is a simple abundance holiday. We praise God for the plenty and the variety we enjoy and do it with the people we love most. Plus all our family cooks really well so it was just delightful.

On Black Friday we stayed home and deep-cleaned the main level. Phew! That was a lot of work. But the house feels happy and I have the hope of maintaining it through the week for our company party Friday. --- Did you hear that a Wal-Mart worker was trampled to death at the door opening on Black Friday? Well gee, I hope everyone enjoys their ultra cheep TV's and vacuums.

So this week was not a good week to know that we are going to India with the terrorist attacks in Mumbai. I remember just how conspicuous I felt in April when we were out touring. And I remember the pain of Sept 11. Somehow though, we still feel like we're supposed to go. Until we have information or revelation that changes that, we're going.

Lastly, we just came home from a delightful advent with Whitmers. Erika is such a dear friend. I miss her now that we're in two different towns and both so busy we could lose our heads for three days before we realized it. She served us raclette and chocolate fondue. I'm sure I over did it, but it takes longer to eat raclette so you don't feel stuffed. As we sang/performed our Chirstmas songs, Cambry and Riley played a song out of their band books. I was so impressed with my kids. They are amazing to watch grow up. Love them!

I've had days in this stress lately that I've felt the labor was too much, that I wanted easier solutions to my problems. But how can I complain when my every need is met and I live life with some of the most remarkable people the earth has ever seen? I must focus more on the things I have to be grateful for, the beautiful ways God meets my needs and helps me see the path to take for relief. I have never been left alone, even at the times I didn't recognize the support. I am grateful.

Halloween -- Trick or Treat!

I was pretty sure I hated Halloween earlier this week. I can hardly sneak a shower in the day is so hectic. But by the time the kids were dressed-up, the class party finished, the pumpkins carved, the healthy dinner eaten, and the cute trick-or-treaters launched; I was ready to forgive my children for loving Halloween. They do have such fun. Now it's just a day or two until the sugar detox is complete.
Who is whose? Riley top back. Paker bought an extra and carved the two on the outiside middle row. Aleah's center middle and she pinned her fairy wings on it for a while. Elise is the toothy one left bottom and Cambry the bottom right.
There's one extra here, the frog is my niece, Emily. She is the daughter of Dave's sister Becca who was an indescribable wonder when it came to costumes. She made the fairy dress Aleah is wearing, the frog, and the fun dress Cambry is wearing that has an accessory cloak and clutch. We especially miss her at Halloween.

See, Riley isn't so dimented as his creation may make you wonder.

The joy of having a creative 12 year old boy! The joy of childhood. OK, I don't hate Halloween afterall.

Cambry's Choir concert October 7, 2008

Here is the video of Cambry's portion of the fall vocal concert. She is on the top row, second from the left.

Beauty all around

Can you believe what stunning beauty surrounds us? October brought winter to the mountains around us... and today it looks like to us as well. But it is so pretty!

Hope in the future

Canning season is sooooo busy and exausting. But it is also so satisfying! When I look at my shelves filling up with beautiful produce, mostly from our own plot, I have such hope in the furture. It whispers peace like come what may, things will be well for us for another nine months.

Here are some quotes I heard from our prophets while I was canning our garden tomatoes:

"We encourage you to grow all the food that you feasibly can on your own property. Berry bushes, grapevines, fruit trees--plant them if your climate is right for their growth. Grow vegetables and eat them from your own yard." Spencer W. Kimball (1895-1985)

"The best place to have some food set aside is within our homes, together with a little money in savings. The best welfare program is our own welfare program." Gordon B. Hinckley (1919-2008)


Here we have tomatoes, some yellow, grape juice, and pear sauce.

DaVinci exhibit

We loved this exhibit! I marvel at all the genious in one mind. Can you read the quote? "Where there is shouting, there is no true knowledge." This was significant because we had to leave Parker in someone else's care while we went to the exhibit for his severe fit that afternoon.

There was another quote that felt pertinent to the evening: "Every obstacle yields to stern resolve." This gave us hope!
This was a tool to be used in flight, an altimeter.
This was to measure wind speed. We were able to blow it up to the fourth notch.

"There shall be flight! If the accomplishment be not for me, 'tis for some other."

One Aleah is cute, two adorable, but three -- irresistible.

On the way out to the car, the night had settled in and the stars were out. We told Aleah, "Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight" and told her to make a wish. She promptly blew a few quick breaths and said, "I can't blow it out (like the star was a birthday candle) it's too higher. Daddy, you do it?" What a delightful evening.

Blackpowder deer hunt

Dave and Riley were able to enjoy a perfect hunt according to Dad Bramwell who orchestrated it. They went to Perry Resevoir and Willard Peak via Mantua. Dad's version of the weekend is this, "We had a fabulous time, the weather was fine, the scenery remarkable, we got into the deer, set up a shot... and didn't have to clean a deer." Riley's cousin Cameron was able to go out Friday. Look at these pictures!