Careful and Troubled

While we were in India we had a conversation that I have been pondering. Mokashi told me that my health troubles start in my head because I feel so burdened by things. I related the bible story of Mary and Martha. I know that I am "cumbered about" often and "careful and troubled" about a great many things. I don't know why.

As I have pondered on this, I went back to the scripture. Below I have pasted the story from Luke 10.
38 Now it came to pass, as they went, that he entered into a certain village: and a certain woman named Martha received him into her house.
39 And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus’ feet, and heard his word.
40 But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me.
41 And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things:
42 But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.

I reviewed the scripture and it was recorded earlier in Luke that Jesus had fed the multitude with a few fishes and a loaf of bread. Martha surely knew of this miracle. She may even have eaten the heavenly meal, yet on this day she felt responsible and burdened to meet a multitude of needs. Then I thought about a pivital time in my life when I was not feeling very fulfilled as a woman with three small children.

At that time, I made a conscious decision to change my objectives each day. I put loving and enjoying my kids on my list of things to do rather than the cleaning and the shopping. And it worked. I began to enjoy what I was doing more and we didn't starve, we didn't live in filth, none of my worst fears were realized.

I think I need to be more submissive to God and His will, even than I have learned to be. I feel that we will not starve or live in filth, but God will provide the loaves and the fishes if we put the one needful thing first.

So I have felt more calm about things. Today something happened that would usually give me a stir: I got a terrible flat tire on the way to church. I thought the car was acting weird because the snow on the road was melting through in places. But once I got on the dry, busy Center Street, I realized something was wrong. I pulled over as far as the snowpack allowed and got out to inspect the damage. The kids walked the rest of the way to the church to alert Dave and I was thinking, quite calmly, about what to do. Some neighbors who were not on their way to church (many who were had passed me by already) but whom Dave and my big kids had spent a few hours helping yesterday offered to help, without knowing my connection. By the time Dave arrived, the spare tire was almost in place.

I felt honestly like God had placed fishes and loaves before I had recognized that I was weak with hunger. One thing only is needful and I want to choose that better part that will not be taken from me.