Riley had a conflict back in December. His first obligation, I thought, was to support his program and perform with his band at their holiday concert. Riley spoke with his teacher about a conflict that arose with his mutual group. They had been offered the chance to sponser a special needs ward for their weekly activity. Riley really wanted to attend that activity with a few other band kids in our ward. The teacher gave him a pass and let him write an essay to get credit back.
Both Cambry and Riley came home and told me how neat it was. Riley mentioned they'd played a game he was familiar with where you try to pop balloons tied to ankles without having yours' popped and how much fun it was play with these special needs kids. Cambry had a girl who wanted to sit by her and be her best friend.
That Sunday the special needs ward came and presented a sacrament meeting program to our ward. What a touching meeting!!! One leader told us how unusual our youth were, as they have wards meeting with them weekly. She said that a lot of boys are very competetive when it comes time to play games. But our youth were playing with the special needs people and some of our boys actually held out their balloons to be popped.
During the meeting, Cambry's special friend waved to her from the stand. When Cambry responded, the girl motioned to Cambry to be certain that the gesture was directed to her and upon getting an affirmative, demonstrated pure glee.
At the conclusion of the meeting, a mother whose child is in the specials needs ward approached Riley with tears in her eyes. She grabbed his arm and told him how impressed she'd been with him and that it was an honor to witness him passing the sacrament.
Those are moments a mother can't create.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Much to be Grateful For
Exterior painting on the house is complete!!! We had the two warmer days we needed for the second coat two weeks ago. Dave must have gotten some flack for my house painting from neighbors because he didn't want me to do the second coat alone, but the constraints on his time have not yet lessened at work. Intentions were noble, but the weather was tempermental. So I proceeded on the back of the house and the west faces of the upstairs and garage. Karl Kidman arranged to come help Dave Friday at noon. As is turned out, Dave didn't have as much time as he'd hoped. Yet we got the front of the house completed that last warm day. It felt so wonderful to put it all away and Dave did all the clean up that night.
We had a sad professional couple of weeks. Dave had to terminate an employee. We knew enough of what was happening to justify the action, but once he was gone, we have uncovered serious grievances that have required further action on our part. When the scene had all played out, I felt such admiration for David. He truly had seen this person for what he could be rather than how he had acted and was able to tell him so. It was not enough to make ourselves whole, Dave gave opportunity for repentence. In the end, we will not be injured by his actions which he is cooperating to make right. Dave is a good, good man.
This week brought a special treat: my Grandma and Grandpa Bramwell came down for Thanksgiving from Idaho. Since we were scheduled to be with the Parishes for the holiday, I took the kids up to Layton to visit with them. We just don't get to see them often enough! What a pleasure to sit and talk with them and enjoy their company. I took the kids up again Friday so Grandpa could take pictures. It was wonderful to sneak that second visit in. (My mom had a little surgery that day and seems to be healing up well today.)
Thursday was a wonderful Thanksgiving of course. Johnny and Heidi and Mike and Shan'l came down from Idaho to be with the family. Jeff and Amber brought their clan. Plus Debbie's best friend in New York has a daughter at BYU, Lisa, who came to share the holiday. The food was supurb! The kids just played and played with cousins. Mike brought a long personality test which all the adults took and discussed much of the evening. It was interesting and made me consider how dynamic we are. I know that my breakdown would have been different, less rounded, 10 years ago. What will another decade bring?
Yesterday we all worked like a farm family! We put up 96 quarts of applesauce. That is a serious acheivement! Everyone helped and kept helping all through the long job. Dave took pictures of the kids enjoying the project, to be sure they remembered ENJOYING it.
We had a sad professional couple of weeks. Dave had to terminate an employee. We knew enough of what was happening to justify the action, but once he was gone, we have uncovered serious grievances that have required further action on our part. When the scene had all played out, I felt such admiration for David. He truly had seen this person for what he could be rather than how he had acted and was able to tell him so. It was not enough to make ourselves whole, Dave gave opportunity for repentence. In the end, we will not be injured by his actions which he is cooperating to make right. Dave is a good, good man.
This week brought a special treat: my Grandma and Grandpa Bramwell came down for Thanksgiving from Idaho. Since we were scheduled to be with the Parishes for the holiday, I took the kids up to Layton to visit with them. We just don't get to see them often enough! What a pleasure to sit and talk with them and enjoy their company. I took the kids up again Friday so Grandpa could take pictures. It was wonderful to sneak that second visit in. (My mom had a little surgery that day and seems to be healing up well today.)
Thursday was a wonderful Thanksgiving of course. Johnny and Heidi and Mike and Shan'l came down from Idaho to be with the family. Jeff and Amber brought their clan. Plus Debbie's best friend in New York has a daughter at BYU, Lisa, who came to share the holiday. The food was supurb! The kids just played and played with cousins. Mike brought a long personality test which all the adults took and discussed much of the evening. It was interesting and made me consider how dynamic we are. I know that my breakdown would have been different, less rounded, 10 years ago. What will another decade bring?
Yesterday we all worked like a farm family! We put up 96 quarts of applesauce. That is a serious acheivement! Everyone helped and kept helping all through the long job. Dave took pictures of the kids enjoying the project, to be sure they remembered ENJOYING it.
Today brought a wonderful surprise for me. A single sister in the ward, Cherice Montgomery, invited us to dinner on the spur of the moment. That just doesn't happen; we are too big of a group. She put together some Thai food and I whipped up an apple crisp and we had a wonderful afternoon. She was very complimentary of our children. I was so unburdened all afternoon without having to cook the main meal making for a special Sunday treat.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Conquering/Coping with FEAR
This house project has been a big stretch for me. Dave can handle being in process a lot better than I can, perhaps it's that compartmentalizing of the male brain. But for me unfinished projects add additional stimuli to my taxed brain that are constantly triggered by my everyday activities. I need to get Aleah's coat on - notice there is no trim around the inside of the front door - need to get this done. I need to sew a peice onto a costume - go out to the garage, rummage through six different boxes to collect the majority of necessary tools - got to get the basement craft room done. Go downstairs to collect ingredients for cooking dinner - walk on mostly finished tile - got to get this floor done. Drive up to the house - see the multi-colored patches where additional prime was painted to a few small sections - got to get that painted.
We were heading to a crisis. The siding needed to be painted before winter. Winter is coming quickly. Dave is working 12 hour days, six-plus days a week. We went substantially over budget on the remodel so we have to paint ourselves. Guess that leaves me.
Dave taught me to use the ladder and we had a few warmer days this week. So I painted. Did I mention that just changing the sheets on the top bunk has me swooning from its height? Wednesday I was out to beat the storm and I wrestled that big ladder, the height, and my fear all day and got paint on all the faces of the house. When it got dark, I pulled out Dave's halogen lights and began a second coat on the east side of the house where the down spouts go so we could put them back on before the storm hit.
I get really scared up at the top. When the ladder is extended and leaning against the house, I feel safer. But when I have to paint above those big windows on the face, the ladder can't lean against them and I have to A-frame the ladder. Extended as high as it will go in that orientation, I have to stand on the second to top rungs, straddling the apex of the ladder between my calves. I practice breathing up there to keep from passing out.
At the end of the day Cambry said, "Mom, you're conquering your fears!" Riley cut the congratulations short with, "I don't think conquering is quite the right word." He's right, I was coping at best. But there IS paint on the house!
I know I was a spectacle because folks noticed me painting and mentioned it to me at church today. Shortly after I set up the lights Wednesday night, a neighbor as old as my mom (Venice Bienholt), pulled up and asked if she could help me. Hesitantly, I conceded to let her paint low parts. She came back, husband in tow, and chatted with me for a couple of hours while Frank and I covered the east side with its second coat. I have thought about how much that meant to me lately. It took a sister, one who has had to pull the reigns at home herself, to perceive that I was doing something because it needed to be done, not because I was comfortable doing it. And though she couldn't climb ladders and didn't even stroke a brush, she eased my burden. Frank called me the next morning to see if I was painting. I think he intended to come help me again if I was. It's not an easy thing to save me. But I have to love the people who try anyway.
We were heading to a crisis. The siding needed to be painted before winter. Winter is coming quickly. Dave is working 12 hour days, six-plus days a week. We went substantially over budget on the remodel so we have to paint ourselves. Guess that leaves me.
Dave taught me to use the ladder and we had a few warmer days this week. So I painted. Did I mention that just changing the sheets on the top bunk has me swooning from its height? Wednesday I was out to beat the storm and I wrestled that big ladder, the height, and my fear all day and got paint on all the faces of the house. When it got dark, I pulled out Dave's halogen lights and began a second coat on the east side of the house where the down spouts go so we could put them back on before the storm hit.
I get really scared up at the top. When the ladder is extended and leaning against the house, I feel safer. But when I have to paint above those big windows on the face, the ladder can't lean against them and I have to A-frame the ladder. Extended as high as it will go in that orientation, I have to stand on the second to top rungs, straddling the apex of the ladder between my calves. I practice breathing up there to keep from passing out.
At the end of the day Cambry said, "Mom, you're conquering your fears!" Riley cut the congratulations short with, "I don't think conquering is quite the right word." He's right, I was coping at best. But there IS paint on the house!
I know I was a spectacle because folks noticed me painting and mentioned it to me at church today. Shortly after I set up the lights Wednesday night, a neighbor as old as my mom (Venice Bienholt), pulled up and asked if she could help me. Hesitantly, I conceded to let her paint low parts. She came back, husband in tow, and chatted with me for a couple of hours while Frank and I covered the east side with its second coat. I have thought about how much that meant to me lately. It took a sister, one who has had to pull the reigns at home herself, to perceive that I was doing something because it needed to be done, not because I was comfortable doing it. And though she couldn't climb ladders and didn't even stroke a brush, she eased my burden. Frank called me the next morning to see if I was painting. I think he intended to come help me again if I was. It's not an easy thing to save me. But I have to love the people who try anyway.
Yellow advanced
I guess it's been a busy couple of weeks! Parker advanced a belt in Taekwando so he's now a yellow advanced.
Dave sometimes feels that we are spending too much on this sport and he has not been as enthusiastic about Parker doing it as I have been. One day right before belt testing, I had too many pots cooking and asked Dave to pick Parker up from the studio for me. When they walked in Dave was teary. He said watching Parker with his focused, determined, precise energy caused a joy to well up inside of him. Dave tied the new belt at the graduation and Parker was surprised when Dave tied it correctly without instruction.
Riley's Joesph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat
So pretty early in the year, Riley came home from school and casually dropped the fact that he had missed the chance to sign up to audition for the play. I knew enough to get more details, Cambry overheard, and soon enough Riley had an audition slot for Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat production at CVJH. He said after he audtitioned that he wanted to do a play because that was were Cambry made so many of her really good friends.
(Riley's not in this photo, but this is a characteristic shot of this play.)
Doesn't he look like he's having fun?
The prison scene.
When he made the play, I knew I'd be making a costume, but this show was really amazing and in the cast of 110 kids, there were no fewer than four costume changes a peice. For the final number, Miss Kate wanted a black-and-white theme with recognizable characters. So Riley signed up to be a mummy that had to be mostly white with silver and black to set it off.
We were really impressed with the production. Riley was musing on the way to the performance that the show just finally came together within the last couple of days. He really enjoyed being a part of something bigger than himself and he did make good friends. I think his confidence increased. I love Miss Kate for what she does for my kids. He had only one day off when he came home with an audition packet for Annie.
(Riley's not in this photo, but this is a characteristic shot of this play.)
Doesn't he look like he's having fun?
The prison scene.
When he made the play, I knew I'd be making a costume, but this show was really amazing and in the cast of 110 kids, there were no fewer than four costume changes a peice. For the final number, Miss Kate wanted a black-and-white theme with recognizable characters. So Riley signed up to be a mummy that had to be mostly white with silver and black to set it off.My design had to evolve as what I first envisioned couldn't handle quick changes. It took a lot of stitching and time, but I really like what we came out with. There was a photo shoot scheduled close to the play and we had to have the costume complete for it. The same weekend Riley had a youth retreat and was having a great time. He called me from the cabin to feel out if he could skip the photo shoot. My response was immediate: if you're gonna flake, you better give me enough notice that I don't stay up all night making your costume for a deadline. So he came home.
We were really impressed with the production. Riley was musing on the way to the performance that the show just finally came together within the last couple of days. He really enjoyed being a part of something bigger than himself and he did make good friends. I think his confidence increased. I love Miss Kate for what she does for my kids. He had only one day off when he came home with an audition packet for Annie. Trick or Treat
I got a treat this year for Halloween: the holiday fell on a Saturday so all the school festivities and the home festivities were divided which slowed the pace down to a do-able trot.
Dave helped the kids get their pumpkins carved. One pumpkin actually volunteered from the hole beneath the front window, likely from the boys scattering seeds last fall. Trick or treat weather was fine and comfortable so we actually just about ran out of candy!
Elise loved scooping out the seeds and pulp so well that she scooped out Parker's pumpkin for him.
Cambry wore her sari to a dress-up dance and to school (but sorry I didn't capture it either time). She looked stunning and got lots of compliments. Riley improvised a hunchback very creatively. He is so good at dressing up. Parker resurrected Riley's ranger costume from a few years ago. Elise wore a cheerleader costume hand-me-down from Emily Harper. Aleah wore a lion costume we had in the dressup bin. In case you didn't catch that: I didn't make even ONE costume this year.... well for Halloween.
Dave helped the kids get their pumpkins carved. One pumpkin actually volunteered from the hole beneath the front window, likely from the boys scattering seeds last fall. Trick or treat weather was fine and comfortable so we actually just about ran out of candy!
Elise loved scooping out the seeds and pulp so well that she scooped out Parker's pumpkin for him.
Cambry wore her sari to a dress-up dance and to school (but sorry I didn't capture it either time). She looked stunning and got lots of compliments. Riley improvised a hunchback very creatively. He is so good at dressing up. Parker resurrected Riley's ranger costume from a few years ago. Elise wore a cheerleader costume hand-me-down from Emily Harper. Aleah wore a lion costume we had in the dressup bin. In case you didn't catch that: I didn't make even ONE costume this year.... well for Halloween.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
All or nothing
According to David Burns, there are 10 categories of poor thought patterns that people fall into which left unchallenged, lead to depression and anxiety. I can spot almost all of them without effort. The only one that I have to read and re-read, wondering if there really is an error of thought, is all-or-nothing thinking.
Lately, as you can see, I have been praciticing unhealthy thought processes on my blog: namely the doing nothing since I couldn't do everything.
We are terribly taxed, but how will I ever remember this wonderful, crazy time, and how amazingly we met the challenges if I don't record them?
Notable things that are happening right now (not in order of significance, just in attempt to get them down):
1. I have a high-schooler, a pre-schooler, and everything in between. Since Cambry is taking early morning seminary and the younger kids take the late track at Cascade, I am literally sending kids off to school for three hours - half of their school day!
2. I now know that no amount of paper and ink can compensate for insufficient thyroid. I am slowly, and not always linearly, making progress into the world of the living again. I feel more like myself and generally I have found most days seem to have an hour more than I used to find. 3. Riley broke his ankle. It was a subtle fracture that requires no casting. He jumped off the stage at play practice and landed on someone else’s foot. (I don’t know why he didn’t think his own foot would suffice.)
4. Dave is SOOOOOOO busy. I have to be conscious to communicate every day or else we could go days without connecting hearts. He is trying to install equipment so that we can begin in-house production of germanium at work. We know he was inspired and we trust that we will have time to do all we need to do, but we are really testing our customers’ patience now. He could use some blessings. Add to that being in the bishopric, and a remodel and you can understand that there are not enough ‘O’s in sooooooo busy.
5. Elise has started piano lessons with her cousin Trisha as a teacher. I love it. Elise seems to pick it up quickly and has a nice touch. Trisha is an awesome teacher and we really appreciate her gift.
6. Riley takes trumpet from Mr. Halverson in addition to being in the school’s production of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” I see him mostly in the car! Not really, I see him most in the kitchen!
7. Parker tested for his yellow advanced belt in taekwando this weekend, I held the board he broke with a snap kick. He looks so good. I love seeing his success. He had to do a lot of make-up work for school this last week to turn in his missing assigments before the term ended. I was impressed with his capacity.
8. We’re nearly done remodeling our home... for now. We have only to paint the new siding and complete the last 10% of the craft room. It feels nice. I had a nightmare that we moved to a newer, more spacious home. This should have been an exciting thing, but I felt profoundly burdened. I looked around, as we were still unpacking and Dave was pointing out what he would be changing. I realized that he could never live in a home someone else built and I couldn’t live with him building the house I was living in. When I awoke, I was relieved that we are where we are and that the pain is nearly over for the current projects. Nothing like a little perspective to enhance contentment.
9. We’re enjoying lots of apples from the red delicious tree. Five-a-day, a slogan from the FDA to encourage more consumption of fruits and vegetables, means five apples a day to me in October. 10. Cambry got a love note early in the school year. She has a fan club of boys that hang around her. She read a book called “Unsteady” that really gave her confidence in remaining in the casual dating stage during high school. She is taking on a lot and doing very well. She just stands out and is wonderful, as are they all.
Well, that's not everything, but it is a step away from nothing. Hoping to post again soon.
Lately, as you can see, I have been praciticing unhealthy thought processes on my blog: namely the doing nothing since I couldn't do everything.
We are terribly taxed, but how will I ever remember this wonderful, crazy time, and how amazingly we met the challenges if I don't record them?
Notable things that are happening right now (not in order of significance, just in attempt to get them down):
1. I have a high-schooler, a pre-schooler, and everything in between. Since Cambry is taking early morning seminary and the younger kids take the late track at Cascade, I am literally sending kids off to school for three hours - half of their school day!
2. I now know that no amount of paper and ink can compensate for insufficient thyroid. I am slowly, and not always linearly, making progress into the world of the living again. I feel more like myself and generally I have found most days seem to have an hour more than I used to find. 3. Riley broke his ankle. It was a subtle fracture that requires no casting. He jumped off the stage at play practice and landed on someone else’s foot. (I don’t know why he didn’t think his own foot would suffice.)
4. Dave is SOOOOOOO busy. I have to be conscious to communicate every day or else we could go days without connecting hearts. He is trying to install equipment so that we can begin in-house production of germanium at work. We know he was inspired and we trust that we will have time to do all we need to do, but we are really testing our customers’ patience now. He could use some blessings. Add to that being in the bishopric, and a remodel and you can understand that there are not enough ‘O’s in sooooooo busy.
5. Elise has started piano lessons with her cousin Trisha as a teacher. I love it. Elise seems to pick it up quickly and has a nice touch. Trisha is an awesome teacher and we really appreciate her gift.
6. Riley takes trumpet from Mr. Halverson in addition to being in the school’s production of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” I see him mostly in the car! Not really, I see him most in the kitchen!
7. Parker tested for his yellow advanced belt in taekwando this weekend, I held the board he broke with a snap kick. He looks so good. I love seeing his success. He had to do a lot of make-up work for school this last week to turn in his missing assigments before the term ended. I was impressed with his capacity.
8. We’re nearly done remodeling our home... for now. We have only to paint the new siding and complete the last 10% of the craft room. It feels nice. I had a nightmare that we moved to a newer, more spacious home. This should have been an exciting thing, but I felt profoundly burdened. I looked around, as we were still unpacking and Dave was pointing out what he would be changing. I realized that he could never live in a home someone else built and I couldn’t live with him building the house I was living in. When I awoke, I was relieved that we are where we are and that the pain is nearly over for the current projects. Nothing like a little perspective to enhance contentment.
9. We’re enjoying lots of apples from the red delicious tree. Five-a-day, a slogan from the FDA to encourage more consumption of fruits and vegetables, means five apples a day to me in October. 10. Cambry got a love note early in the school year. She has a fan club of boys that hang around her. She read a book called “Unsteady” that really gave her confidence in remaining in the casual dating stage during high school. She is taking on a lot and doing very well. She just stands out and is wonderful, as are they all.
Well, that's not everything, but it is a step away from nothing. Hoping to post again soon.