A Love Story in Snippets -- Big Pond

Like a fish released from a little bag of water into a large aquarium, there was a lot of new territory for me to cover at BYU. Freshman were invited to come the week before school started to complete an organized orientation. My apartment in Carroll Hall was on the northeast edge of campus and many students frequented my area headed further north or east to their apartments in Heritage or Deseret Towers. Coming from a small Midwest high school where the LDS population was my family plus one, I was astounded watching all these Mormons scatter around my area.

Most notably, there were a lot of LDS GUYS! They were everywhere. And they were attracted to me. I now had male companionship for everything: running, shopping, cooking, attending games, dances, classes, activities, church… oh my! And I had a different male at each thing. I was at an all-you-can-eat buffet with more selection than I’d ever known. And I didn’t want to fill up on one dish, I wanted to sample everything.

I’m a little embarrassed to admit, but I had boys stacked on top of and stumbling over one another. I made arrangements on the apartment phone for a date with one fellow while another boy was waiting for me in the lobby. I had three dates in one day (that can be a little stressful, just so you know). While I was visiting with one boy, another would show up. I had a schedule worked out where I had 10 minutes between study partners. Really. And I thought they were jerks if they couldn’t accept the terms of my limited attention.

I liked different things about the different boys. One was particularly good looking and relatively polished. Another was spontaneous. One fellow was really sincere and tried to rearrange his schedule to allow more time with me. One was pretty fearless in pursuing me, taking me out on a date even after I had fumbled his call, guessing a couple different - legitimate - suitors first.

Now in my defense, I wasn’t holding hands with each fellow, I certainly didn’t kiss any of them. I was single and staying single for the time-being. My intentions were to learn more about these guys and recognize how I felt being around them. I had experience with boys, yes. And maybe more than most as I had a twin brother which allowed me a fly-on-the-wall vantage at times. But these were LDS guys and I needed to adjust my filter.

I was learning about myself as well as I tested out my fledgling, solo wings. I noted when I didn’t like the way I felt, even if I couldn’t place why. My parents and roommate H told me they were worried about all these boys taking all my study time. H even sat down one night in my absence and plotted out my guy map, listing pro’s and con’s for each and suggesting I focus on the top three by her estimation and learn to say no occasionally when asked out.

I figured I couldn’t keep that crazy relationship investment going and reach my academic goals. So I made a resolution: dating for fun only, and that more limited. I had a renewable scholarship, plenty of smarts, and I wasn’t a stereotypical coed working for my MRS degree. Dating for fun translated into no returned missionaries as partners as they were ready to settle down. And as far as I could see, I wasn’t at all. There was way too much fun to be had swimming in my new school.