From Mom November 23, 2014

Sunday, November 23, 2014

Dear Riley,

Hi son!  I’m pretty sure I’ll be hearing from you soon as you have to have a Pday within the next couple of days.  I hope you were warm on your temple walk today.  When Sister G spoke to me about seeing you she said you were so happy and you had told her you had an awesome companion.  That’s great news.   She also told me to be certain you had sufficient warm clothing for today’s temple walk.  So after I’d sent the package with goodies, Dad dropped off his coat and gloves in another.  And she wanted you to know that while she can’t bring stuff to you, she can take things home from you.

Parker just came down and showed me the mini Star Wars figures you’d put in his treasure box.  He’s missing you.  I think he felt it more today because he’s used to not having you at school, but you’re supposed to be at church with him. 

Dad is doing tithing settlement now so he’s so busy.  Plus he has the third funeral of three tomorrow: Shirley Neilson, I don’t know if you’d know her by name but only by sight.  She is such a wonderful, faithful woman and we’re sad to lose her.

I called Grandma Parish to wish her happy birthday yesterday and discovered that she was going to make her own birthday cake.  I offered to make it for her and she said she wanted it just the way she wanted it.  So after I’d promised to make it exactly the way she desired, nothing varying, I was permitted to make her a sour cream white cake with buttercream frosting.   The best part is that she wanted me to make my frosting recipe and I didn’t even realize I HAD a frosting recipe because it’s been years since I frosted cake with buttercream.  She didn’t want mousse or whipped cream or any other fandangled thing, just frosting.

I walked it off to her in the cake dome sometime after yesterday’s funeral.  I stayed and visited with her for a minute and then the rest of the family showed up.  While we were visiting, Mike and Shan’l and their family showed up.  Grandma invited us to an enchilada dinner which she had prepared the day before.  I ran home and made Spanish rice and Dad made salsa.  Dinner was lovely.  The kids and I cleaned up Grandma’s kitchen.  Madison was particularly helpful.  Oh, and Westley is like 6’4” now. 

Walking into our house around 9:00 last night, I was discouraged that it was a complete wreck.  It turns out there was about a half bushel of stuff from the girls’ room which had migrated to the front room.  The kitchen was unfinished and I had to cut Parker’s hair.  I was runnin.  Dad said last night that he’s pretty sure that without him, I wouldn’t ever make it to bed.

I realized that I had not prepared adequately for singing time this morning.  The highest priority was to calculate and pay your tithes and our tithes and offerings.  Once I had that done, I sat down to learn the song I was to teach and hope for revelation which would allow me to successfully teach the children without spending much time as I didn’t have any.  After just 15 minutes I had no inspiration and had to leave to visit teach.  Our sister was so warm and we chatted about a lot of things and stayed longer than usual.   Leaving her house, I acted on the impression I had received as I walked out my front door earlier in the morning that I should ask Sister K if she had something prepared from when she was the chorister.  She did and she brought it and I was saved.  Sometimes we have only to be humble enough to let God work in our lives through His other children (and to swallow our pride and ask for help).

When I got home, I had another 15 minutes before I had to be at the church to practice with the choir.  (I played the flute with their song today.)  I got home from church just in time to straighten the front room AGAIN! and get the girls to church.  Though I was only gone 15 minutes practicing there was a big hulabaloo at home between Aleah and Parker.  I haven’t heard either one of them through, though I know for sure that Aleah claims victim and Parker, justified.  Aleah has been a drama queen and difficult because she has not had enough sleep two nights in a row.  Ugh.

We had such a good sacrament meeting.  The T family spoke; they live in the K’s house.  Their little seven year old spoke on tithing.  He was torn when he’d finally earned the $10 award he’d been working toward and he was going to have $14 but hated to give one away to tithing and have only $13.  But he did pay his tithing.  Then when he was cleaning up his room, he found a lost $1.  It was so sweet.  And his mother spoke about tender mercies.  She used a scripture in a way I’d never considered that people are to hear the gospel in their own language to their own understanding.  She said that tender mercies are God speaking to us in a language that we each understand individually.  She told a story from her mission of a woman she had been working with but before the woman had accepted, Sis. T was transferred.  Then on a Pday in her new area, she felt impressed to write this woman a letter.  This was a sacrifice because preparation time is coveted time.  But she did write it and put it in her bag.  Then later after finishing a day of work, she felt undeniably that she needed to mail it.  The impression was so strong that she wrote on the outside of the envelope, “Let me know when you get this.”   The letter arrived one day after this woman was pretty sure she couldn’t make it one more day, but her husband convinced her to hold on one more day.  This letter convinced her that things don’t just happen, but God is in charge and knows her.  This allowed her to accept the gospel.

Brother M came home teaching right after church today and he looks and feels remarkably well!  The ayruvedic medicine that Dad was provided through Mokashi is having a positive impact.  His mind was clearer than it’s been in so long, his eyes are whitening up and his skin isn’t yellow any more.  He’s hoping for years rather than months.  He looks to Eric and wants the kind of miracle Eric was given.  That makes me feel a little guilty for wanting more of a miracle than Eric received.

I’ve got to end.  I love you so much.  People here in the ward love you so much.  You are missed, but we trust in the work to which you are called and your ability to perform it.

Take care,

Mom

From Dad November 21, 2014

November 21, 2014

Re:  Letter 1 of 3

Hey Riley!

Well, life did go on.  I watched as you walked away after we dropped you off at the MTC.  You were faced forward and never looked back.  That’s a great way to approach your mission and I just know you’ll distinguish yourself in every place you serve, including the MTC. 

Your Mother is still weepy and started to cry last night as we sat around the dinner table as six with a place for everyone.  We’ve talked about these emotions and she’s coming to terms with her feelings. She’s now focused on the joy of having a son worthy and desirous to serve in this capacity and not mourning how much she’ll be missing you 12 months in the future.  Josie is missing you and needs a lot more snuggle time. Parker seems to be finding himself and rising above expectations, since he no longer lives in such close proximity to the suffocating burden of pure awesomeness.  Gus?  Well, he’s adopted a morbid hobby of pulling the legs off of spiders.  We’re all coping with your absence in our own ways, but getting along pretty well...

We started tithing settlement last night and so many of the members I met with are impressed by your comments last Sunday, and the caliber of young man you have become.   Bro H mentioned he had seen you in the Book Store the day you arrived, and the Gs are keeping an eye out for you.  Bro. P is particularly tender towards you.  You have a lot of people behind you and praying for your safety and success. Over 10,000 prayers will be offered in your behalf over a 2 year period from your immediate family alone.  Just imagine how many prayers will be offered in your behalf from Ward, and Church members throughout the world. 

I’ve enjoyed reliving my first days in the MTC and imagining how your experience is playing out.  The excitement and newness, the missionary powerhouses whom you look up to who will be leaving for their assignments in a short while, the bonds you form as a district, the love you develop for your MTC President and Branch President, sitting through your first branch meeting while another missionary translates what is being said, sitting in the auditorium while thousands of missionaries sing Called to Serve, and the Spirit!  What a wonderful place!  I can’t think of a better setting to catch on fire with faith, testimony, and missionary zeal.  I pray for your experience over the next two months to far exceed your highest expectations.

Well, I only have a few minutes to get this to the UPS store if you’re to get this today.  Sure do love you.  Tear it up!

Dad

Friday, November 21, 2014

Riley,

I found one of your collar points! 

Parker wore pants to school of his own volition.  Twice!  He is getting all his friends to send him pictures for his contact list.  He’s having fun.  I dropped him off to special needs mutual on the way to taking Aleah to her awards night last night and he told her he hoped she won.  It meant so much to her that she mentioned it on the way home.

Yesterday Josie made Rupunzle’s hair by putting Elise’s sparkling flower earrings in her polly pocket doll braid. 

Josie drew a picture of Apple from Everafter High this morning.  She looked at her progress and then added two legs.  She considered and added two arms.  That is a development milestone.  She’s given the drawing to you.

Aleah was so excited last night at her Reflections award night.  It was so sweet to see her ready to burst.  She was asking at the breakfast table this morning what comes after District, and after State… and after Nationals.  She wants to win it all!

I had a distinct and unusually complex understanding given to me yesterday morning while I was exercising.  What I have experienced in loss of your association I have experienced before.  We’ve been without communication on many occasions.  I was given to understand that what I am grieving is the anticipated losses in the future.  By grieving today for tomorrow’s sorrows, I pay twice and it dampens the joy of today.  It’s OK to feel some twinges of pain at separation, but just as they are recognized it’s best to feel and acknowledge the loss and move on.  I sang, “There’s one less place at our table, There’s one more tear in my eye” last night while setting the table with Josie.

Dear Riley,

We have survived the first hours. I spent time on Facebook changing my profile pic to our hug and the cover to the family photo where all our faces are close together.  I refused to make dinner last night and Aleah made ramen noodles. 

I read Josie "How I Became a Cheerleader" before bed, changing all the Pirates to cheerleaders.  She protested a little but was pretty entertained by it as the story progressed.

Cambry came after work to exchange cars and got me out the door to shop groceries.  But when I got home at 9, you weren't there to direct the storing.  Parker and Dad helped, but I still missed you.  I’m moving at the pace of a tree sloth.

I decided to soak in a bath. But of course that meant that I had to clean the tub and shower stall.  So I got to bed at midnight.  Josie woke us up at 5:30 this morning saying she'd peed in her pajamas.  I didn't respond except a grunt, so Dad got up with her.  She was being so difficult and he was tired (and possibly hungry?) and everything escalated with her screaming downstairs.  So, knowing what I wanted to have happen =more sleep, I went down with her.  She had not had a full accident and had not gone to the bathroom so her bladder was fit to burst.  So after a potty run, we settled in for an hour nap and she is obviously tired, yet sweet this morning.  She frequently gets her hand pinned in that purple pin thingy.  I know you explained to her to her why her hand can’t go between the pins and the Plexiglas and I told her so.  But it’s better than an entire day spend on the boy game, like yesterday.

Parker started off to school this morning but his bike was still at the school from yesterday.  He said he asked you what all the commotion was about this morning while it was happening and you didn't answer.  He decided you were still asleep, but then realized you likely were asleep.... but in the MTC.  I think having your phone is a good distraction for him.

 

I realized it was J C who gave you the $25 and she brought the cookies.  Plus write a thank you to T, M B, and Bro and Sis P.  I will deliver if you send them to me.  Post mart is the best way to get stuff to you, but I’m not sure it works the other way.  Other missionaries will know.

Dad will announce every now and then what he anticipates you're doing right now.  That helps me.  He starts funeral-o-rama, or three funerals in 6 days, today .  This afternoon the girls have piano, I have school community council, Aleah has her Reflections awards, and I have book group tonight. 

I’m going to go exercise now.  Really, I am.  ‘Cause I just ate Josie’s donut.  J

I love you.  Have a wonderful time.

Love,

Mom

Time passes no matter how you spend it.  This was my reasoning.  One week before our last weekend together as a family,  I came down the stairs and said, "Dave, remember when I said I wanted to go to New York?" and he simply asked me where I wanted to go now.  I wanted one last family trip.  And I got it.  Josie woke us Friday morning with, "Hey, guys, we're going camping tonight!  In a hotel!"  We left home as soon as Cambry could get up after class on Friday and were back at home by dinner Saturday.  But it's what happened while we were together that matters.

Josie gave us a funny story:  While she had walked all the way to and from Landscape Arch and to Delicate Arch, Josie consented to riding on David' shoulders from Delicate Arch to the car.  Close the parking lot there is a little bridge which she wanted to walk across herself so she asked to get down.  As soon as she attempted to amble off, she dropped to her hands and knees, "Oh, there are rocks in my socks."  David knew that her feet were asleep, but humored her by taking off each shoe and sock, demonstrating to her that there was nothing there and explained to her what was happening.  She didn't quite trust him and stood up saying, "Oh, they still feel funny."  She crawled on hands and knees until David steadied her to walk the rest.

Hi, sweetie.

You've been in the MTC one whole hour.  Once we got home, and after Josie was tucked in for nap, I wandered the house.  There is much chaos and I want to simultaneously order it and preserve it as a shrine.  I am a spirit in conflict.  I went into your room where Parker was lying on the floor and he rose for a hug.  I opened the closet and Parker pointed out your journal.  I hope you don't mind that I read your one entry just because I was lonesome for you and your handwriting and words brought you closer. 

Dad has moved on to the basement and took Aleah with him to pick up the door for the storage room. Aleah had set up her paper in the stairway headed down to the piano and I snapped a shot of her journal entry for you.  Elise has been soothing herself at the piano.  I think you'll miss her tinkling away her troubles.  She has to go put up lights in the condos.  Sister Kolz called to remind her and asked if you were already in the MTC.  Elise held her composure until she was off the phone and then cried in my arms saying you may not feel homesick, but we surely will be Riley-sick.

I don't want to make you homesick, but I think you will like knowing that we each are dealing with the loss of your companionship.  

You are such a joy to us all.  I was looking at the black chairs in the living room and thinking you're not going to spontaneously get them downstairs for me.  Blah.  

I'm sorry I didn't get love notes stashed in your pockets like I'd planned.  But everytime you see my PARISH inscription, know I love you.  I think so highly of you.  I am continually grateful for you and your goodness to me and your dad and the rest of our children.  I hope you love your companion and I hope you can help your district learn Thai.  I know you will.  I can envision you quietly taking in the scene at the MTC and nodding your head and thinking behind your eyes, "Alright. I got this."  Because you do.

I'll write again soon.

I love you,
Mom

Preference

Cambry asked Chris Brousseau to Preference this year.  Brittney asked Scott, Sabrina asked Tyson, and Amy asked Tom. For the first time, Cambry bought her dress. We shopped over the MLK holiday break and she fell in love with this dress. Her YW leader who has so generously fixed her hair other dances just had a baby and is not working. Cambry’s hair is like mine in that it won’t hold a heated curl, but curlers set in to the hair to while it dries stays until the next wash. So we looked on YouTube for hair ideas and they all start with rollers. I put her hair in curlers late Friday night.

Saturday we made the cake, Dave’s birthday cake for her dinner. Anna and Saerome came over and helped with the hair. With all three of us working, I think we really came out with something pretty.